Frosh year is over.

My last term as a frosh is finally done. I had more workload this term compared to my past two terms in DLSU and honestly, when it comes to stress and school work, this term was freaking hell. Staying up late isn’t a good habit (I felt so ‘ugh’ every morning) and I barely slept just to get all the work done. And I can really say that everything has paid off. 

I’m happy about how my grades turned out (except for math bleh) and how I still made it to the Dean’s List. My math grade sucks and I’m not too happy about it but I’m content. Math has always been a weakness, I guess. I barely passed my second long quiz and I’m pretty sure I flunked our final exam so I’m thankful that I still managed to pass the damn course. I didn’t bother talking to my professor anymore for consultation. It just felt sorta wrong to go through the hassle for a grade I know I don’t deserve. I swear math has been ruining my grade average since elementary. It just isn’t my thing.

This term has mostly been hell, but thanks to my friends, classmates and some of my professors, it was more bearable. 

Taft isn’t quite ready to let me go yet. I still have to go to school for org duties and interviews. Honestly I just want to stay at home and be a lazy ass but duty calls. Oh well. 

This is what I was doing all day.

Gave my blog a make-over (‘cause it’s summer and… I just felt like giving it a new look). My new theme still looks a bit similar to the old one because I kept the stars background and the light pink + gray color scheme. I love it too much to let it go. :)

I also revamped my pages - about me, blogroll, fandoms, resources, tags, bucketlist, ships and concerts. I’m pretty happy with the way things look. :)

All the code credits can be found on the about me page. :)

I just really needed to get this out.

Wake up, you’re a drama queen.

Why do I find it so hard to deal with disappointment? 

God. Emotions are such a burden.

I just want to forget how to feel. Why is it so hard not to care?

Emotions down right suck.

Carry on like you’re supposed to be.

It’s so easy to tell yourself to get over it and move on but some things are just difficult to accept.

It’s hard not to be disappointed when you put so much effort into something and it isn’t appreciated.

Easier said than done.

And what bothers me most is that I’m way too affected by everything that’s happening.

I shouldn’t be.

Get away, hurry up, come on.

I know I can’t please everyone all the time. 

Things won’t always go the way I expect them to.

Life isn’t fair.

I know that I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does, and who am I kidding?

I know this and yet.. I’m being a pathetic fool by getting so worked up about all this.

It’s just really hard for me to accept failure. Even though I know it’s okay to make mistakes.

You need to fail once in a while, yes, so that you can get up and be stronger.

But what is wrong with me?

This is becoming a catastrophe.

I feel like crap. I feel so down about things that are beyond my control.

I did my best and that’s all that counts, right?

Hell no. I tell that to myself and all my fears about not being good enough is coming back to haunt me.

I thought I was past that already. 

But now I’m over thinking and I hate myself right now for feeling this way.

It may be hard, but I’m trying hard to comprehend where I quit and where I should begin.

All these feelings are eating me, consuming me. 

I just want them to go away. 

I hope sleep will do the trick.

March.

So I’ve been gone for a while. I haven’t updated in almost a month? Whoa. My acads has been eating my time a lot lately. I still have class ‘til the third week of April so I still have a few more weeks of school to endure. Vacation is within reach and I just can’t wait to just freaking grab it get my life back, haha! 

A lot has happened during my absence from my blog, so here’s what’s been happening to little ‘ol me lately:

• I just started wearing glasses. Still trying to get used to wearing ‘em though.

• On the first day of the month, I facilitated an event for my org for the very first time. My org usually holds a yoga session each term and I was assigned to facilitate this term’s yoga sesh with my cousin. Also, I was appointed as the Director for Publications for next school year. It’s not gonna be an easy task but I’m up for the challenge and I’m very, very excited! :)
• Completed two trilogies this month! A few weeks ago I bought Requiem and the other day I bought Clockwork Princess. I really missed reading books. My love for books has been rekindled and I’m looking forward to reading more books this summer.

My babies!! <3

• My little bro graduated last Saturday and I’m so so so proud of him and he was so so so cute with his toga and cap. It felt like it was just yesterday when he was still a tiny baby.. now he’s growing up so fast. :(

Okay so that’s pretty much it. The rest of my time has been spent on acads. Every other significant happening this month is school-related lol. I am buried in a pile of school work and I’m really hoping I can pull this all off and end up with good grades. I’ll be back on the third week of April to greet vacation! Ja neeeeee~~~

Life update

So here’s what’s been happening to little ‘ol me lately…

• I lost my ID at school last last week. Sadly, I’ve been unable to find it and I had to spend 600 pesos to get it replaced. I was expecting that it would turn up at the Lost and Found because I’m a hundred percent sure I lost it at school. But it didn’t so yep goodbye 600. I feel like I wasted money because there’s so many things you could buy with 600 pesos. Like food. UGH. 
• Been suffering from PTV SWS PCD since the 16th. My god, they were amazing live. I was so moved by their music and hearing their songs live is just awesome. I almost cried when PTV played Hold On ‘Til May. Aaaahhh, the feels. 
• I am currently buried under a very huge pile of school work. Which explains why I haven’t been updating lately.
• Had my first org embassy visit the other day. Waking up early and getting soaked in the rain was so worth it. We went to the Swiss Embassy and I’m even more convinced that I want to be a diplomat in the future.
• We were required to watch this play at PETA Theater called “D’ Wonder Twins of Boac” and it was pretty good. It made me miss my theater days.
• I have an ask.fm (don’t ask me why I made this. lololol feel free to send me questions though) and 8tracks (in the process of putting my old mixes there, and I’ll be making new ones too so stay tuned~) 

So yeah guess that’s it. Back to doing school work now. Feel free to leave me messages! 

This week’s happenings

• It was University Week at DLSU, and it’s the biggest event at school. I went to the Animo Fest yesterday and I had so much fun! Blockmates and college friends, you da best <3 
• FALL OUT BOY IS BACK, BITCHES!!!!! This news made my week! REJOICE!

• Went Ice Skating for LEAP Class. I fell on my ass and knees a few times but I got the hang of it in the end. As a result, I have bruises on my knees, a cut on my palm and my ankles hurt like hell.
• Had a futsal game during PE class and it was pretty tiring but hey, I actually had fun!
• Had my initial interview with a school counselor last Thursday. She was great to talk to and she gave me a lot of helpful tips and information on possible future careers. 
• Wasn’t able to go to Haunted Hall yesterday. :( The line was really long and after waiting several hours, we decided to sell our tickets.  We’re planning to go next week instead.
• Bought matching charm bracelets with my girlies <3
• Went to the dentist yesterday, found out I need to get braces soon. I don’t know how to feel about this yet. I’m wondering if it’ll look okay on me and how hard it will be to eat and stuff
• My mouth feels weird, I have no desire to eat because of it. :( 

Kim’s 18th Birthday

• Had CWTS in the morning and as usual it was so UGH. Went to Eena’s place after to chat then went home to do my hair.
• Went to Can Can’s place after to change and she did our makeup. We had milkshakes before going to the venue.
• Definitely a fun-filled night to remember! Had so much fun with my girlies <3
• Was one of the 18 candles and Kim’s debut was very different from the traditional ones. We had to pretend we were pageant contestants representing countries and we had to say these corny and funny lines. Mine was “EDSA, AYALA, BUENDIA… ESPANA!”
• After that Kim had to blow the candles we were holding and she laughed after I did something funny hahahaha
• There was also this part when my friends and I became part of this contest where we had to demonstrate the sexiest way to drink. Dignity kaput. Lol. 
• After that, party party! Overall, I had a really great time. I’m happy for my friend and I’m thankful to be part of that amazing night.

Awesome college friends. I’m the one in purple, hahaha. Click read more to see more photos. :)

Read More

Random musings

• Enjoying German1 class so much. Learning a new language is difficult but I’m having a lot of fun. 
• CWTS is ugh
• Beginning to feel the pressue of school work…
• PTV + SWS concert in a few days! So stoked!
• I want new sneakers!
• University Week at DLSU starts tomorrow! :) 
• Went to Kim’s debut yesterday. I had so much fun! Will blog about it once all the pictures are up. ♥

Third term so far

• My prof in German1 came yesterday and I had so much fun during class. I was really interested in the lecture. Really excited to learn German even more!
• Enjoying PERSEF because I like our professor and my classmates as well.
• Gonna be interviewed soon for counselling and to be honest, I can’t wait because there are a lot of things I’d like to get off my chest.
• Our Sociology class is being held at a computer lab and it’s my favorite classroom ever.
• Having a tough time in math class because I suck at math but I really like my professor. He’s so funny and he has this cute yet slightly creepy sing song voice and accent. :)
• And then there’s this guy…. and I’m not gonna complete the sentence lolololol but yeah uh two words: eye candy HAHAHA
• I now have a daily routine of reading fanfics whenever I’m at the train, haha.
• The stress and pressure is starting to build up once again. Aaahhh schoolwork, we meet again. Fantastic.

First day of my last term as a frosh in bullets

• I woke up earlier than planned but it was fine because I didn’t have to rush. My first class was FUTSAL at 10:30. This sport is very new to me and I actually had a lot of fun. I’m excited to start learning more about the sport. 
• We were dismissed early, so I ended up having a fifty minute break instead of thirty.
• Next class was KASPIL2 and my prof seems good. I’m actually excited for the subject because my professor believes that students should have fun while learning and he’s gonna do his best to make it fun for us. I loooooove fun hahahaha 
• After that we had ENGLRES… because of the reshuffling, I ended up having a different professor. There are mixed comments about my prof but I’m up for the challenge. Let’s see how this goes.
• Excited for my classes on Monday. I have short breaks but that suits me just fine because of certain reasons. Finally gonna learn a European Language, yaaaay
• So the DLSUCET results were released today and I just wanna say…. congratulations to 2600 applicants (out of 23000.. whoa) who passed! If you ever decide going to DLSU, I swear it’ll be one of the best choices you’ll ever make. You won’t regret it! :) If you have any questions about La Salle, feel free to hit me up! See you around, future ID 113s!! :D

Today, on the first Saturday of the year, I am another year older.

I’m seventeen already, gaaaahhh I birthdays are fun and all but I hate growing up lol. I still feel like I’m fourteen years old or something, haha. Can’t believe I’m turning 18 next year… I can vote, get arrested and be officially an adult. YAY! - not. 

So yeah, I had a birthday brunch (when I woke up my mom told me to get dressed so I wasn’t able to eat breakfast haha) with my family and I stuffed myself with lots and lots of food today. The coolest part about lunch was when the waiters sang and danced for me, haha. The birthday song they sang was really nice. :D Oh, and I got free ice cream too.

Giggling like an idiot ‘cause I couldn’t stop laughing. :)

This is my birthday gift to myself. :) Tickets to see Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens next month. So stoked!!!

So last year, I got a sketch of Zack from Chelsea. This is what I got this year, from Kuya Nico. I have the awesomest online friends ever. :)

I also got two birthday cakes from two of my closest friends. They both want to make me fat, lol. 

So anyways, thank you to everyone who greeted me and made my birthday special! You all rock my socks. :)

Highlights of my 2012.

• My last 3 months in high school. (SENIOR YEAR)

• A Brand New Chapter: College.

• For me, 2012 is the YEAR OF THE MUSIC FESTIVALS. I am very happy to have been a part of the crowd of the following concert festivals:

Okay, The TC/SYG/WATIC concert isn’t exactly a music festival but since there’s more than one band I decided to include it anyway. I also went to The Cab’s mall show. It was really awesome seeing The Cab and Forever The Sickest Kids twice in one year. :-)

• Meeting one of my favorite bands, Marianas Trench.

• Glorietta Vibe Fashion Show.

Where my Christmas money went.

So besides getting gifts for people, these are the things that I bought for myself (and my sister lol ‘cause she wore all the clothes I bought before I could wear them hahaha)

• 1 - Black Bracelet. 
• 2 - Red Cracked Nail Polish. I wanted to try it and see what it looks like. On my first try it looked crappy ‘cause I didn’t have any clear nail polish lolololol so it kept cracking and cracking lol
• 3 - Black Nail Polish.
• 4 - New Earphones! Yay. My old ones were sorta busted (had to twist the wire to make it work lol) and I can’t live without earphones so yeah.
• 5 - Ponytails. I bought twenty of these things because I tend to lose ponytails A LOT and it’s so freaking hot sometimes. It’s frustrating to have long hair and not have a ponytail so I bought plenty of these. Hahaha.
• 6 - Key Necklace. I’ve always had a thing for key pendants and accessories so yeah.
• 7 - The Millenium Trilogy by Stieg Larson. I’ve been wanting to read this trilogy for a very long time and I was finally able to buy it. Got these three books for only 600 pesos too. What a steal.
• 8 - High Waisted Shorts.
• 9 - Blue Skull Bracelet. I’m planning to buy more of these skull bracelets in different colors. They’re really cute and I have a thing for skulls too lol
• 10 - Blue Striped Long Sleeve Hanging Top.
• 11 - Brown Long Sleeves. I’m really thin so I’ve been getting a lot of striped stuff ‘cause they say it makes you look bigger haha
• 12 - USA Flag Shirt. It reminded me of Kellin Quinn in the If You Can’t Hang MV so I just had to buy it. ☺
• 13 - Maybelline Baby Lips Lipbalm. I don’t know much about make up so I only buy lipbalm and powder from time to time lol
• 14 - Pink Countries Shirt.I love this because it has cute drawings that represent countries. I think it’s perf for an IS Major like me. I was supposed to get one in gray but the pink one was the only one that fit me. The gray one was too big T.T But pink’s totally fine though. 
• NOT IN THE PHOTO (BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BOUGHT IT YET… BUT I WILL SOON HAHA YEY) My ticket for Sleeping With Sirens and Pierce The Veil’s concert this coming February. I saved the rest of my moolah to buy my tickets to see two of my favorite bands. I’m really really excited! :-)

My 2012 Planner

For the second half of 2012, my planner has been a constant companion. Because of its small size, I usually bring it with me wherever I go (unless I’m too lazy to bring a bag) So anyway, this year has been amazing. It’s been more than what I’ve expected and I want to look back on all the great things that happened this year, using my planner. :)

There she is!

1 - Just a bunch of post-its that I use for my planner. I use it to be organized and make my planner look cute and colorful, lol.

2 - The first page. 

3, 4 - Random pages

5 - The Post-It Page. This is where I place all the useless used post its lol. 

6 - The photo was taken during our last day of INTGLOS class. (Introduction To Global Society) I had that subject on my first term and it is still by far, my favorite subject. My professor was THE BEST and the subject itself is AWESOME too. The subject made me love and appreciate my course and it helped me to realize that the International Studies program is where I want to be. ♥

1 - UAAP Men’s Basketball Round 2 - UST vs DLSU. This is the first game I watched with my blockmates and it was really fun!

2 - UAAP Men’s Basketball Round 2 - ADMU vs AdU, DLSU vs NU. Out of all the games I’ve watched, this one’s my favorite. (even though my team lost) It was my first time watching from the Patron area and I got photos with the team. I also had my first picture with my favorite Archer, LA. Mehehehe. You can read more about that here.

3 - My second photo with LA at a random school day. He did the “LA pose” with me and my friend and he smiled really wide and omggggg asdfghjkjhgfasdfg

4 - My third photo with LA, taken during the LSAL All Star Charity Game. Because of freaking CWTS, we were only able to watch the last quarter of the game. After the game, my friends and I ate at The Burger Project and watched a concert for Filkomu Class.

Okay, I’m such a fangirl when it comes to LA hahahah asdfghnfbasdfg

My schedules during my first and second term in La Salle. 

BAZOOKA ROCKS WEEKEND. Read more about it here.

1 - This was the sign that I wrote and it won me and my cousin tickets to Bazooka Rocks. My planner was the only paper I had so… 

2 - Concert Schedule!! I SURVIVED.

3 - Marianas Trench’s Autograph! 

4 - My photo with one of my favorite bands, Marianas Trench and BRF marked on my planner. ♥

More awesome events, whoooppeeee

1 - Move To The Vibe of Glorietta Fashion Show. I’ve always wanted to watch a runway show and I can finally cross that off my bucket list. The Philippines broke a world record and I am happy to be a part of it. I saw a lot of celebrities too. My professor was also one of the models. How cool is that? Plus, Kyle Patrick of The Click Five was the musical guest and hearing him sing was amazeballs. I also got to meet him during his autograph signing session.

2 - FAASTIGAN 2012! We won first place! LR33 is the best block ever. ♥

3 - US Election Watch. My INTGLOS professor invited our block to go to this event and it was fun because I got to hang out with my blockmates, there was yummy FREE food and I like attending Embassy Events. :-)

4 - LR33 Block Party, Bonding with my sis and cousin, Birthday celebration   of my siblings.

My 2012 planner is about to retire. This will be my new planner for next year. It’s a gift from my friend, Katrina. I loooove it and I can’t wait to use it. 

From a really cute and colorful planner to a planner that looks more mature and umm… professional? I love the black and gold color combo and the studs! It’s so meeeee. A new year means new beginnings. I guess this symbolizes how much I’ve grown in the past year. I think I’ve matured quite a bit…. but there’s still some immaturity left, hahaha. Time flies so fast…. I don’t want to grow up anymore, lol.

2012, you were amazing. Before 2011 ended, I swore that 2012 will be my year. I didn’t know why but I had a really good feeling about it. This year exceeded my expectations and I’m very, very thankful. So many great memories and moments… all in one year? I can’t be any happier. My life is nowhere near perfect but I sure have a lot of things to be thankful for. 

So I haven’t been posting any personal stuff lately, even though a lot of awesome things happened in the past months. My second term in college just finished and school work pretty much took up my time. Honestly, this term was hell. It was full of stress and frustration. Many have dubbed the second term as the HELL TERM and it certainly lived up to that. During the term, I kept wishing for it to be over. Now that it is, well, I kind of find myself missing it. Yes, this term was horrible (in terms of all the stress and hassle because we were being bombarded with papers and stuff) but there were a lot of good things that happened too. I learned that things are just gonna keep getting harder. College is never easy. But one important thing I realized is that I’m gonna have to toughen up as well. Things will continue to become more difficult and that means I have to work even harder.

I was really worried about my grades this term because despite submitting all the requirements, I didn’t know if my work was good enough. ‘Cause you know, sometimes laziness strikes and my work becomes shitty. But yeah, I also realized that I should believe in myself more. I got better grades this term and I am extremely thankful for that. All my grades are 3.5 and above plus my GPA went up compared to last term. 

I wanted to get at least one 4.0 in a 3 unit subject this term and I thought that wouldn’t happen. Surprisingly, I got a 4.0 in my Psychology class which is probably the hardest subject I had this term. We had a killer exam in this subject (prolly one of the most difficult exams I had so far) Anyway, I am really happy with my grades. I’m still a First Honor Dean’s Lister (hello advanced enrollment whooopppeee) and I hope I can maintain this for the terms to come. ♥

Another thing… I applied for a scholarship and I got accepted! I was granted a partial scholarship which will be effective next term. Another thing to be thankful for. :-)